Perfectly Imperfect

If you are anything like me, sometimes you wish life came with the perfect questions followed by perfect answers. Details come perfectly packaged with little or no mess. This past week I was reminded that life is perfectly messy at times and we don’t always get the answers we want. Sometimes there are no answers –it is then we are called upon to draw on some truths we already know. Those truths that have served as our north star time and time again.

Some weeks ago I made a commitment to support a friend at a very important milestone in her life. I needed to fly to another state for this. I am one of those who hate trying to find last minute flights so I attempted a few times to book my flight. However, each time I tried to do this I felt a ‘block’ in my spirit. I just couldn’t do it and I didn’t know why. This has been eating at me for weeks and I hoped that ‘feeling’ would leave. Well, to date it hasn’t. I prayed about it, asked God why. Nothing. I needed an answer packaged smartly so I could explain to my friend why I couldn’t come. This answer needed to make sense. To say I’ve been struggling with this is an understatement. Life comes with so many ‘unknowns’ at times; this can leave us feeling so limited, drained, and frustrated. These are the moments that I have come to understand that things don’t always make sense–but they do. They do when we release the unknowns to the only omniscient One who knows what I don’t.

This morning while reading 2 Kings 4 I got the answer. The prophet Elisha made a comment that just resonated in my spirit in a real way — “Leave her alone, for her soul is in deep distress, and the LORD has hidden it from me and has not told me.” God is in no way obligated to tell us all the finer details of life. We need to be okay with that. He chooses to reveal what He wants, when He wants. My response to this perceived ‘silence’ is to trust His leading. Know that He is all wise and will never lead me wrong. I didn’t have invent an excuse for not attending my friend’s event. I called her and told the truth. I didn’t have a tidily packed reason for her. All I know is I cannot go against what I sense in my spirit. I’ve been there before; it’s more than just a feeling. It’s a ‘knowing’ that I shouldn’t go. I do trust that eventually I would come to understand the ‘why’. But even if I never get clarity –I still choose to trust my North Star. The One that makes everything else makes sense as I navigate this life – the Spirit of God living in and through me.

***Thanks for reading – It doesn’t always make sense.