If I had Known

Maybe you are like me – wasted time crying over things, people and situations seen through broken lens. I never wanted to migrate to the US. I resisted it for years, giving my dad every reason possible to delay the process. Loving my life the way it was – I couldn’t or wouldn’t see beyond what was.

‘ Last Moments’

This picture above was taken during my last months in my native country. As I stood by this river, I distinctly remember some of the emotions I was walking through. There was a twinge of sadness and pain, mixed with nostalgia. Truthfully, I questioned God on this timing. I’m sure He overlooked my youth and naivety. How could I have known that He had a ‘whole new world’ for me to explore?

‘My First Job Here …Longing for Home ‘

For the first 6 months in the US, I cried almost every single day. My first Job was on the 16th floor of a high rise building smack dab in the middle of crazy mid-town Manhattan. There was a large bay window overlooking Broadway. There I stood quite often staring at the hustle and bustle – longing for home with tears streaming down my face. No one knew how I felt.

Here I am decades later and I wouldn’t have traded this journey for another. My world expanded to embrace new experiences, new cultures and faces. The lens through which I now see life has changed. It is indeed ‘a whole new world… I’ve come so far, I can’t go back to where I used to be‘. If I had known, I wouldn’t have spent so many days and nights crying. Longing for what was.

Experience has now taught me to embrace the new and trust that the Captain of my soul will never lead me wrong. If I had known I would have not missed so many moments bathed in melancholy. I would have danced my way into the unknown with total abandonment. I would have trusted my Father’s hand a bit more. Trust that with Him, ‘ I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Christ who infuses me with inner strength and confident peace’. [ Philippians 4:13 AMP]

How about you? Wasting time yearning for what was? What if ‘what was’ is now a closed chapter? You’ve exhausted all your inner strength. Now you feel like you are grasping at straws trying to resurrect a past that no longer has a place in your present. Can you trust that as you ‘acknowledge God, He will make your crooked path straight’? Here’s a reminder: ‘Before the world was created, God had already chosen us to be His through Christ.. ‘ [Ephesians 1:4] This tells me He’s not experimenting with my life. He knows exactly what He’s doing. I can trust Him.

If I had known
I would have cried less
Let go faster
Questioned less
Listened closely
Stayed longer
Climbed higher
Laughed louder
Slept soundly
Waited patiently
Hoped joyfully
Rested calmly
Trusted completely
If I had known

***Glad you stopped by….

Published by Restored Heart

An educator, author, a mom, friend, and a girl who loves that Her heavenly Father loves doing life with her. Passionate about introducing others to the Christ who heals hearts among other things....

9 thoughts on “If I had Known

  1. I’ve definitely found that when I was younger it was much harder to trust anyone, sadly that included God, during periods of my life where I experienced major change. I can’t imagine all of the fear, loneliness, and unknowns that would come with leaving your native country though. God sure has brought you a long ways, through a lot, and you’re faithful! Thanks for sharing more of your story! ✝️🙏🏼-Brian

    Liked by 1 person

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