All I Need

As a mom of two boys, I had front row seats to the battle with clutter. Toys, gadgets, clothes, and more toys. The second time around as a mom, I was over it in many ways. I realized my son never asked for the excesses. Many of the toys and gadgets were ignored after a week or two. It didn’t matter what new distraction came his way, he inevitably ended up in the kitchen cabinets. A wooden spoon and pots gave him the tools needed to create his own music. Daily he climbed into the lower cabinets to rearrange the shelves. Eventually I started leaving empty cereal boxes, containers, and egg cartons there. This was his ‘stomping ground’ and he was happy. My job was now to make the lower cabinets a safe space as nothing was off limits. The kitchen floor was his canvas to be as creative as he wanted – I always had company in the kitchen. He had everything he wanted. Now over twenty years later, he avoids the place like a plague.

I wonder how often we’ve convinced ourselves that we need more. That what we have isn’t enough. We live for faster, bigger, newer and pricier. Often we are left weary, disappointed, empty, dissatisfied and disillusioned. Somewhere we got duped into believing that the ‘new car’ smell and feel lasts forever. That we’ll be more fulfilled if we get that ‘one thing’. If having more fills the emptiness in our souls then the statistics should show suicide rates lower among the well-to-do. Instead the more we acquire, the more restless and thirsty we get.

Several years ago, I had a passion to complete my master’s degree. I was so excited about my first class. Working full-time, I started with one class in the spring semester. I loved the feeling of walking onto the college campus and equally so, the discourse in the classroom. I did great and completed my first class with a bang! That evening after my course final, I felt like walking home ( a New Yorker’s past time😉). On my way home, a low sinking feeling swept over me. I felt like a deflated balloon. I had just started to pursue one of my life’s goals – something I yearned for. Why the emptiness? As clear as you can hear a voice, I heard ‘ vanity of vanity, every thing is vanity’. That’s the day, I truly got the understanding that ‘things’, accolades, and excesses do not satisfy the hunger in our souls. We enjoy them, hold them lightly, but never depend on them to soothe the inner man or fill our deepest longings. While we seek to live life to the fullest and go for goal, there are parts of us that will never be fulfilled with things.

I find there’s a vacuum in our souls as fallen people. That space is designed to filled with more than things. When I discovered the love of God in a relational way as opposed to religion – things started to make sense. I found His love in a variety of ways. God loved me through the details. Sometimes in the simplest ways. A phone call, a visit, a gift of laughter or a listening ear. The amazing human connections He orchestrated at different seasons in my life. The peace I find in talking to Him. The grace He extends to me even at my worst. I was led into purpose when He positioned me in what I was made to do. I uncovered a wealth of joy giving of myself to those who need me the most. I have said this many times before, I found me when I allowed Christ into the void. His wisdom now guides my pursuits. True satisfaction is found when we are exactly where God wants us to be – with little or much.