This picture was given to me many years ago by the photographer of my college’s yearbook committee. I had to retake the picture as my eyes were closed, among other things. I was somehow intrigued by this ‘flawed’ picture and have kept it for a few decades. Today, I confess that sometimes I just want to close my eyes.
I admit that these days I often don’t like what I see. Even worse, many times my vision is blurred and limited. There are days when I see life through shattered or defective lens. This produces a turbulence of unhealthy emotions and thoughts in me. I fight to come back to a place of peace. I struggle with what You say I should believe and what I see with my naked eyes. Days are spent talking to myself – speaking Your truth over my mind and heart. Still I struggle with what I see. And honestly, I also question what I don’t see.
The world is a harsh place and increasingly so; I don’t like what I see. I pray to see less families falling apart, more children enjoying the gift of childhood, more compassion extended to the wounded and hurt. I want to see more examples of love and commitment between those who decide to be married. To see more leaders walk in integrity, especially in your houses of worship. More justice, accountability- less greed, hatred and corruption. Father, what do you see?
I want to see my occupied space the way you see it. To see my fellow humans through your eyes. Maybe then, I’ll love more and judge less. From your vantage point, I can begin to see lives that will eventually turn around. That there’s still hope for that lost soul that tries my patience constantly. I’ll see the pain that causes people to hurt others. Maybe then I can respond with a heart of compassion. Through your eyes, I’ll begin to see what truly ‘breaks Your heart’. The hope is that my heart will break with what breaks Yours.
Through Your eyes, maybe I’ll worry less. I’ll start to see that You are in control. That Your plans for me are for good and not for evil. That ‘all things truly work together for good to those who love You and are called by You’. That Your timing is perfect. I’ll see that the times You appear to be silent are my times of testing. The testing that You designed to perfect me. In those moments, You are as close as the very breath I breathe. I am never abandoned or alone. Through your eyes, fears would lessen -hope would arise. Help me to see beyond what I see.
Through Your eyes, may our priorities shift. May we begin to see that our days are numbered. This life is truly fleeting and fragile. It needs to be handled with care. People would become more important than things. May we see that people are more than the sum of their mistakes. They are valued in Your eyes. We would see that You pursue us relentlessly because of Your unfailing love. That all You want is a restored relationship with Your children who blindly run away from You. Give us a glimpse of what You see. Help us to love through Your eyes. Amen.
‘Just a Girl Like Me’