Singleness On My Mind

One of the tough things about the holiday season for many is being single. Here comes the question again this year: Why are you still single? Many singles do struggle with depression and loneliness this time of year, whether they are alone or in a crowd. The truth is, this Thanksgiving many singles struggle with thanksgiving. What’s there to give thanks for?

This Sunday past, I listened to my pastor gushed over his wife and the love he has for her. They have been married for over 50 years. She is having some health challenges this season in her life. He went on to talk about the commitment you make when you decide to marry someone. I will unpack that in my next post as I look at being thankful for your spouse. For now, let’s talk about being thankful for singleness.

As a Christian, I look at life through the lens of scriptures. This is what Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7:

 Sometimes I wish everyone were single like me—a simpler life in many ways! But celibacy is not for everyone any more than marriage is. God gives the gift of the single life to some, the gift of the married life to others.

Marriage involves you in all the nuts and bolts of domestic life and in wanting to please your spouse, leading to so many more demands on your attention. [MSG]

Life comes with many complications, decision making and twists and turns. As a single, I am truly thankful that I don’t have to consider pleasing another person with my decisions. I only focus on me and what God says about His will for me. When I chose to move to another state, I didn’t need to consult anyone else. It doesn’t work that way in a marriage. I appreciate how simple my daily routine is. I wake up when I want, come home when I want to, cook what and if I want to, sleep wherever I want in my home and wear what I want. I can invite whoever I want to my home without considering anyone. I determine the noise level in my home. The temperature in my bedroom is mine to control. I can be alone as long as I want to. I choose to be in the company of others when I want to. My peace is mine to have and to hold. I can love from afar or near. 😁

I spend money without thinking about someone else’s need or approval. I do vacation my way. I have no in-laws to deal with. I never feel obligated to be where I don’t want to be. I deal with my mood swings by myself and never have to explain my hormonal upheavals to anyone. Truth be told, I have more mental and emotional energy to focus on other aspects of my life. I don’t have a perfect life by any means, but I am a happy single girl!

I do know there are great things about being married. However, this is not my reality at present so I choose to embrace this frame and the picture that’s in it now. I don’t know if I am gifted with singleness, but I think I do a great job of living it now. And no, I don’t struggle with being celibate nor am I lonely. I really do love my own company and I treasure being alone – I have been graced with all I need for this season. So this Thanksgiving I choose to be thankful for the freedom and simplicity of the single life. I raise a glass to you who are married and doing it well – I am so happy for you. For now, this is my dance and I am loving it!

Hear this:

And don’t be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God’s place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there. God, not your marital status, defines your life. 

Verse 17[MSG]

****Thanks for reading – married or single!