Shattered Pieces

Have you ever heard a song, smelled a perfume/cologne or seen something that unexpectedly evokes some unwelcomed emotions in you? It can come upon you like a rushing wave, toppling you over at the most inconvenient time. These emotions are like broken glass. Even after you sweep carefully, there may be shattered pieces lying around. Oblivious to the untrained eye, they can cause more bleeding—more pain. If we choose to sweep them under the rug, they will only reappear later. Even worse, they may cause hurt or harm to others around us.

We have different names for these shattered pieces. Sometimes we call them emotional or mental baggage. Too often we carry them around not realizing they are ‘weights that easily hinder us or trip us up’. Some of us wear them like accessories daily. We put them on each morning, and unfortunately, we feel very comfortable with them. After a while, our eyes become blind to them. They are, however, very visible to those who observe us carefully. Sadly, these are the people we frequently bleed on –often unintentionally.

Dear Father:

Take the shattered pieces of my broken life, my callous fractured heart. Only You can put the pieces back together. You are the only One who can make art out of these broken pieces. I realize some of these pieces need to be thrown out. I remove them from under the rug where I’ve swept and kept them for so long. They no longer serve purpose in my life. They stand as a wall between me and divine destiny. Give me strength to scale these walls so I can get to the place You’ve so lovingly prepared for me.

The chaos that erupts in my soul when these memories awake cripples me one time too many. I don’t know how to silence the voices of my painful yesteryears. I’ve listened so long I now believe the twisted narrative played for me daily. I have become comfortable thinking this is who I am. I dance to the beat of those drums only to be left empty and volatile at times. I spew venom at those who love me, even when I don’t want to. There are times I stay away, sheltered in my own toxic world to avoid hurting others. I want to return to my seat at the table.

I don’t want this anymore. Help me to shake off the grave clothes, leave the baggage behind and clean up the shattered pieces. Empty my pain of its power over me. Free me from the prison of these memories. Help me see what you see. To see the I in me that you see. No longer do I want to bleed on others – neither do I want to see them bleed. I long to see the true me when I look into my eyes. I want to come back home. I’ve been gone too long. Father, can you hear me?

‘Shattered One’

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.

Hebrews 12:1