Dear Younger Me,
It’s some forty-something years late but I felt the need to write to you. There are somethings I thought you’d like to know. First I wanted you to know that you were meant to be here. You were created to thrive not just survive. To live not just exist. Your heavenly Father has fought many battles for you, even when you never acknowledged or recognized Him.
At about 7 years old when you fell down that ravine into a river- He had that lady there to climb down that sharp embankment to lift your unconscious body out. You came home to your grandmother’s house and went to sleep. She never knew what happened to you. He kept you from brain injury. Maybe a year later, again you fainted at school during recess, playing in the hot sun. You hit your head on the hot asphalted school ground. Again you were unconscious for some time. No one felt it necessary to take you to the doctor. You came home and slept. He kept you from brain injury.
About a year later you went to the country again to spend some time with grandma for the summer. That afternoon when she sent you to the shop [grocery store], again your Father stepped in. As you walked along that lonely path and suddenly felt like someone was watching you – you stopped and looked up on that raised sidewalk. You saw him and ran. He was about to violate you. That was your Father again. A number of times you saw him again. He asked you to show him body parts that no one else should see. You were just about 9 years old. Forty plus years later, you will see him on a family member’s FB page. You will ask your Father to help you process your frame of mind. You will feel nothing- emotionless. You will question whether you have forgiven and released him. You will know the textbook biblical response. However, you may still not be sure if you have forgiven. Remember to be at peace. Your Father will walk you through it.
A few years later, there was that young man who lived close by. You were afraid of him. He said the most inappropriate things to you constantly. Your Father again shielded you. You lived long enough to see him die a horrible death. As a young teen on your way to youth meeting at your church that Thursday evening – He rescued you again. This adult you trusted, lured and dragged you into a private place. Again his intent was to violate you. You found out later, he had done it many times before. How and why he just let you go puzzled even you. That was your Father again. For a number of years, that was the only human being you feared. Again, you will live to see him die a horrible death.
Despite the attempts to scar you mentally, emotionally and physically before you barely had a voice, your Father will continue to hold you in the palm of His hands. People will be positioned in your life to love you and believe in you from a tender age. Family, teachers, church family and friends. They will be the unpaid guardians of your destiny – all by divine appointment.
The disappointments, apparent missed opportunities, closed doors, open doors, failures and successes are all perfectly designed so you would be who you were created to be. Don’t worry so much. Live , love, laugh and believe! It will all work out. He will never stop fighting for you. Take a chance on love. Allow God to love you through people. You will taste bitter and sweet. Cry if you must. Pain will be a reminder that you have the capacity to feel. You will fail. Know that you are not the sum total of your missteps. Do not allow your failures to define you. Never be afraid of the dark – you need the dark sky to see the stars. So, in difficult times learn to look up!
Train your heart to forgive – it won’t want to at times. Love people and use things. Time is one of life’s greatest commodity, use it wisely. Lean not on your own understanding. Your Father’s way doesn’t always make sense, but it does. If you ever get the chance to sit it out or dance – dance. Go for it! Don’t rust away – burn out fulfilling your life’s purpose. Live boldly. Your Father’s got you. He promised never to leave you nor forsake you. You got this!
‘Your Future Self’
*** Thanks for stopping by. Hope you were inspired to take a chance on life. ‘Like’, share or comment.