This Pain

Many of us might have noticed that some of our millennials and Gen Zs are deliberately opting not to have children. At least, not in their twenties. Their reasons and stories vary. I hear them and no judgement here. However, I’ve lived long enough to see and hear the stories of regrets expressed by seniors who wished they had had children. The pain, loneliness and emptiness they experience, especially on holidays is heart breaking. This becomes increasingly true if their spouse, siblings and parents have passed on. I’m in no way implying that children were meant to be our old-age insurance and assurance. There are no guarantees. I have, however, watched my mom maintain purpose, life, and vigor because of the presence of children and grandchildren. Without us and them- I’d hate to imagine what life would be like for her now. Family was God’s idea –not ours. That being said – we have been granted a wonderful gift called choice. Choose wisely.

The story of pain is also true for mothers who live a life of sorrow and heart break because of their children. For them, motherhood brings no joy. You and I could pen a catalog of reasons why Mother’s Day evokes pain in the heart of many. For those moms who may have awaken with pain in your heart this morning – I send some love your way. I love my children to no ends. Nevertheless, there have been days when motherhood was heavy on me. I never planned on parenting alone. Single motherhood was never on my vision board, but there I was. I have fought my way through shame, pain and the likes. By God’s grace, I did it without scarring my children [I hope😊.] If I might add, I enjoyed it. God gave me a village and favor beyond my expectations. For mamas in pain – I speak to you today.

I’d like to say for the mamas in pain today, there’s healing for the brokenness. We may not ever get all the answers. Let’s forgive ourselves and others. Seek until you find purpose in the pain. You are more than the sum total of the drama and tragedies you’ve encountered. Your story can be used for God’s glory. You just might be able to help another daughter of the land who is coming behind you. In spite of it all, I encourage you to rise!

***Thanks for reading – As you celebrate, be sensitive to those you may not be able to partake in your joy. Be a source of comfort, if you can.