You Left Me

The cry of many hearts for years, decades and even a lifetime. ‘You left me’. This morning, I reflected on a college mate of mine whose story touched my heart as teenager. I’ll call her ‘Anya’ for the purpose of this post. Her mother left her as a young girl with her dad and brothers. In her eyes, mom left to selfishly pursue her life’s goals or dreams. She had forgotten about her only daughter at the time. That was her story. I often wondered what her mother’s story sounded like. When we met in college, I sensed the pain she was walking through. Every time she hit a roadblock, her motivation to overcome was hinged on ‘showing mom that I can be somebody without you’.

Her pain was raw. I listened her story many times. At 17 years old, I’m not sure I understood it all. By God’s grace I’d never had to walk that road. As many students graced my classroom over the years, I’ve listened a version of that same story one time too many. Abandonment steals and plunders. It robs people of their sense of worth and peace of mind. It can leave a person’s spirit ravaged and in chaos. Often leaving unanswered questions swirling around, leaving many confused. If we allow it to imprison our hearts and minds, it can hold us captive for a lifetime.

Anya and I lost touch for a few years. When we reconnected she had become a successful educator and accomplished much of her dreams. Not so long ago, I found out that her mom had passed. It appeared that at the funeral, she was not acknowledged as a daughter. Even in the death – it seemed she was still ‘abandoned’. This caused me to ponder. What do we do when people leave ? How much time had Anya wasted trying to be valued and seen by someone who chose not to see her? Where do we find our worth? Is it insanity to spend a lifetime seeking validation where it will never be found? When will the search be over?

“Can a woman forget her nursing child, or lack compassion for the child of her womb? Even if these forget, yet I will not forget you” (Isaiah 49:15). Here lies the comfort to those who struggle with abandonment. This is not a bandage that we slap on and hope it heals the wound. This is truth that goes deep down to those inner places. It unearths the root cause of the pain and soothes like a balm. No doubt it’s a journey and it takes time. That’s why Christ offers to do this with us. He knows it’s easier said than done. One should not give their lifetime in search of love and acceptance from a person who might be incapable of giving it. People cannot give what they don’t have. We will be disappointed and regret those wasted years. God is faithful and He stays. He also knows how to restore the years.

****Thanks for reading – May you discover the love of The Father who stays.