Today I watched a movie and saw someone in an emotionally raw state. You could almost taste the pain spewing out of his pores. Tears poured down my face as I felt every piece of his heart rupturing. And it was just a movie. Why did it jar my soul like that? Maybe because I’ve been in his shoe to some extent. I get him – I feel him.
Sometimes I wonder if we forget that Jesus walked here clothed in human flesh and experienced much of what we walk through. He was misunderstood, misquoted, ridiculed, rejected, discredited and in the end suffered great betrayal at the hand of someone who was supposedly close to Him. Today I understand that His pain served a purpose. His time here on earth brought Him face to face with humanity at its best and its worst. So now when I try to explain my pain to Him – He gets it. We need to remember this when our world feels like it’s spinning out of control and there seem to be silence in the realms of the Divine. Where are You Lord? This a common cry. I remember this cry too:
‘And about the ninth hour (three o’clock) Jesus cried with a loud voice, Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?—that is, My God, My God, why have You abandoned Me [leaving Me helpless, forsaking and failing Me in My need]?’ (Matthew 27:46 AMPC)
After musing over some of my life stories, I felt the need to take a minute and breathe. However we choose to describe it all – agony, distress, suffering, misery, affliction, or pain – there is purpose in it all. The beautiful part is Our Father gets it all. I believe that one of the most agonizing heartbreaks a person could ever suffer is to watch their child suffer death undeservedly. Our Heavenly father watched that. He allowed His Son to die a horrible death. It wasn’t for naught – there was purpose in that pain. We were part of the fabric of that divine plan – You and I needed to be rescued.
In my pause, I quietly whispered:
‘Father do not let my pain be wasted. You have rescued and saved me from much. If You allowed it, I know it has a purpose. Use it all for your glory. In my limitation, I don’t have the ‘know how’. I bow to your omniscience and embrace Your perfect plan as I surrender my fight to Your will. Amen.’
****My reflection during Lent
Restored Hearts 